How to Defeat Calvinism

James White posted this. I think it is funny. As a person who has recently found the Reformed faith (Calvinism to my Arminian Baptist Church friends) I might just memorize it.


As a "newbie" Calvinist I had to have some direction to insure I am what I perceive to be the meaning of "Oh! You're one of those," from some in my church. Thank God for His sovereignty. He supplied Jeff Foxworthy to help me out with this problem. Foxworthy says, "...you might be a Calvinist if your preacher says "turn to Obadiah" and you don't have to use the index..."

Bro. Jeff has supplied many more of these. They can be found here. And, for this link I want to thank The Wittenberg Door. He posted it so I could find it.

Calvin Quote

Ambition is fine if properly constrained. Calvin understood this fact and commented on it. Although he didn't call it "ambition" there is no other name for it. I know some Christians who could learn much from reading this quote:

No single mortal can be sufficient to do everything however many and various may be the endowments wherein he excels. Let then God’s servants learn to measure carefully their powers, lest they should wear out by ambitiously embracing too many occupations. For this propensity to engage in too many things is a very common malady and numbers are so carried along by it as not to be easily restrained. Calvin on Exodus 18:15ff

Calvin Defines Us

I haven't read Calvin's Intsitutes of the Christian Religion but some of the blogs I read occasionally quote them. Often the quotes remind me I need to read them, below is one such quote. I took this one from the blog Wittenberg Door and I thank them for it:

"For what is more consonant with faith than to recognize that we are naked of all virtue, in order to be clothed by God? That we are empty of all good, to be filled by him? Blind, to be illuminated by him? Lame, to be made straight by him? Weak, to be sustained by him? To take away from us all occasion for glorying, that he alone may stand forth gloriously and we glory in him? When we say these and like things our adversaries interrupt and complain that in this way we shall subvert some blind light of nature, imaginary preparations, free will, and works that merit eternal salvation . . . For they cannot bear that the whole praise and glory of all goodness, virtue, righteousness, and wisdom should rest with God. But we do not read of anyone being blamed for drinking too deeply of the fountain of living water. The Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1559"

Clearly, without Christ man has no hope through anything he thinks he can do to be saved. Without Christ's illumination prior to our participation in salvation we are hopeless. We can walk all the altar call aisles, say all the prayers, freely choose to accept Christ (in our dead natural condition), remember the times we did those things, but unless Christ through his Holy Spirit has first pulled us from our grave wherein we are "dead in trespasses and sins" (Col 2:13) we are lost without hope. We can't even assist in this renewing - it is all of Grace.

I think many who believe they are saved, mistakenly believe human temporal abilities to "choose" are co-equal with spiritual abilitites. They are not. We can choose a hamburger or a taco, but until God acts upon us spiritually we cannot choose eternal life with Christ. That life is given to us, whether we like it or not, by God's Grace alone. (Oops! Did I really say that?)  Only after we have been "quickened" spiritually can we or do we want to repent and obey. (2 Cor. 4:2,3,4)

My concern is that when we witness to others of Christ's saving power we often leave out the fact that only He can effectually change us. As lost humans our only hope is to be on our knees begging to be "chosen" by God not the other way around.

You're One Of Those

One day I was chatting with a friend from Church about spiritual matters when he remarked, "Oh! You're of those!" I said, "what are you talking about?" He replied, "you're one of those Calvinists." By that he meant I was not really a Christian - in the sense that I wasn't interested in seeing folks added to the church daily as happened in the book of Acts.

I had just recently stumbled onto Calvinism by reading and listening to John Piper. Oh, I had heard about T.U.L.I.P., but had never investigated fully what that was all about. My friend's remark was said in jest, but my curiosity was aroused to the point that I began seriously investigating what it is I really believe. What a tremendous journey God has me on. Little did I know that what I had heard most of my life was a shallow, mostly man-centered, gloss of what God has truly revealed of Himself in his Word.

Form of Words

I believe I'm turning into a thief. Wait! I am a thief. I've been stealing all kinds of really good stuff from other web sites. But, then, I don't think the others mind, I always try to attribute what I use, to them, and am grateful they have not threatened to soak my typing fingers in hot-grease or something. Besides, the 'Gummint' says we can use reasonable amounts of copyrighted material if we attribute the usage to the authors. Ok! So much for rationalizing, justifying, weasling-out, and generally making excuses for my un-originality.

I've also been hung-up recently on the use of language in and around church in particular, and in life, in general. Seems the folks at Center for Reformed Theology and Apologetics thought about this as well. This I stole from them:

2 Timothy 1:13 - Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.

13. Hold the form of sound words. Some explain it thus: “Let thy doctrine be, as it were, a pattern which others may imitate.” I do not approve of that view. Equally removed from Paul’s meaning is Chrysostom’s exposition, that Timothy should have at hand the image of virtues engraven on his heart by Paul’s doctrine. I rather think that Paul commands Timothy to hold fast the doctrine which he had learned, not only as to substance, but as to the very form of expression; for — the word which Paul employs on this occasion — denotes a lively picture of objects, as if they were actually placed before the eyes. Paul knew how ready men are to depart or fall off from pure doctrine. For this reason he earnestly cautions Timothy not to turn aside from that form of teaching which he had received, and to regulate his manner of teaching by the rule which had been laid down; not that we ought to be very scrupulous about words, but because to misrepresent doctrine, even in the smallest degree, is exceedingly injurious.

–– John Calvin, from his commentary on 2 Timothy

Could it be that our modern paraphrases and simplified versions of the Bible and Confessions will, in the end, have the exact opposite effect from what we hoped for? What form will we use for the next generation?

Now, before everyone becomes apoplectic over "Calvin," I recommend actually reading some of his material to find out what he says - not what people say he says.

Section 4.1. 21-29 The Institutes

This post is for a friend. He/she knows what its about, but all my other friends, who read this blog, will not harm themselves by reading it as well.

Not only does the Lord through forgiveness of sins receive and adopt us once for all into the church, but through the same means he preserves and protects us there. For what would be the point of providing a pardon for us that was destined to be of no use? Every godly man is his own witness that the Lord's mercy, if it were granted only once, would be void and illusory, since each is quite aware throughout his life of the many infirmities that need God's mercy. And clearly not in vain does God promise this grace especially to those of his own household; not in vain does he order the same message of reconciliation daily to be brought to them. So, carrying, as we do, the traces of sin around with us throughout life, unless we are sustained by the Lord's constant grace in forgiving our sins, we shall scarcely abide one moment in the church. But the Lord has called his children to eternal salvation. Therefore, they ought to ponder that there is pardon ever ready for their sins. Consequently, we must firmly believe that by God's generosity, mediated by Christ's merit, through the sanctification of the Spirit, sins have been and are daily pardoned to us who have been received and engrafted into the body of the church

We good ol' boy Amuricun religious kinda-folk sure have a hard time with the first sentence in this quote. Why us Baptists jus' know we's goona go to heaven without havin' to think about all that adopted into the church kinda stuff. We be "borned agin," and that's all thar is to it. Period.

Except, "...the Lord through forgiveness of sins receive and adopt us once for all into the church." Dadgum it all. How's a feller s'posed to have any peace 'bout being saved and all, ifn he ain't in charge of his'n own salvation? What's this adopted into the church stuff? Does this feller mean I have to ask forgiveness every day of my life? That there's crazy talk. Ain't it?  I thought I was "once saved always saved" no matter what.

Well for a Baptist this does sound kind of like the Catholics, or the Epicopalians, or maybe even the Anglicans. But, then again...

"...by God's generosity, mediated by Christ's merit, through the sanctification of the Spirit, sins have been and are daily pardoned to us who have been received and engrafted into the body of the church."

...it sure does sound a lot like what the Bible teaches.

[Hat tip to Doug Wilson at Blog and Mablog for this one.]